My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
I looked at him all bewildered and he said, "what? I figured if it was under 30 seconds it'd be free."
I know it sounds like a good idea, but doing Spanish homework at a bar just because the owners are Mexican and they give us margaritas really wasn't the best decision.
MY DOG FOUND A BAG OF COKE ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD!!!!!!!!!!!
AND ITS GOOD STUFF TOO!!!!!! AHHH!!!!!!
he was alternating between taking bites of butter and bagel. he said it was easier than finding a knife
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
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