My dad is complaining about how his computer keeps getting viruses. I don't have the heart to tell him he needs to stop downloading so much porn.
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
Things I learned last night: 1. Bacardi 151 is a one-way ticket to the toilet, 2. It is possible for a human being to turn into Mount Vesuvius
A kid in my class today just asked if we have class on the 17th, then announced that he couldn't go anyways because it was the day after his 21 and he was going to be too hungover
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
Had to decide between a hook up at the train restroom or getting to work on time #growingup
I'm so upset I left my sombrero at the expo center
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
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