guy in the car over is getting some terrible road head. he just gave me a thumbs down when he noticed i was watching.
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Stormed out of the house in frustration and now I'm in public and have to take a rage dump. Today sucks.
I consider my hand a solid 5. So if I'm dipping below a 7.5, I might as well go with old faithful.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Randomize
