When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
It was like god placed me in his bed and said," here's your shot girl. Don't mess this up." And I looked at god and laughed in his face.
Holy christ fuck what has my trainwreck of a life come to just blew a 17 year old so help me god
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
He said you stopped mid-fuck, called fives on his dick, walked out to grab another drink, and came back.
I'm eating my emotions. I am no longer interested in anybody other than my own hand and vagina.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
Sorry about my sloppy drunk texts. I'm not sure talking about banging a near dead Jimmy Stewart was my finest moment
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Randomize
