Okay call me later ill be watching lifetime and scrubbing throw up off my feet
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
4 days in college, 3 frat parties. I haven't been this drunk since the unspeakable Jäger bomb incident in Sweden.
you must be at least a level 5 friend to unlock my sexual orientation
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
I knew it was all downhill from there when the straight vodka I was drinking tasted like water.
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
Randomize
