I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
only you would photoshop your dick
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
I feel like a need a fire hose to wash off what I did last night
Bad news. I baked you a cake and one of my fingernails is missing.
Wow, nothing is more special than changing the channel and seeing the guy who groped you on Saturday night...
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
You need Xanax blowdarts
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Did I call him? He cried after taking my bra off. You tell me.
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
you never un-have a 4some
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
Randomize
