So you maybe wanna hang out again? I could use the $5
Whatever I can do to help stimulate the economy
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
Its not even real halloween yet. This extremely toxic yet briliant costume is going to kill me
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
Some poor guy found you passed out in a bathroom stall. Again with your dick out. Looks like you got to rage after all.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
So my roommate and I have a written agreement stating that if he tries to sleep with his ex girlfriend, I have to immediately intervene and nut punch him then send her on her way.
this is the most serious roommate agreement ever
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
Correction: *I* watched JoJo's Bizarre adventure while he snored asleep on me cock still fully inside me.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
