My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
The problem I'm having with looking for jobs while drunk is reading is really hard
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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