Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
He came home all fucked up crying slammed his bedroom door and all we could hear for about three hours was THIS ISN'T GONA RUIN MYLIFe what happend
I told him I got this chick pregnant and he has to get a new wingman
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I just face planted on a condom wrapper in my bed...thought of you.
You're so romantic.
At this point, I wouldn't be surprised if he laughs at all of our attempts to keep him sober.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
He KNOWS ALL THE WORDS TO "JESUS IS MY FRIEND", I swear if he even tries to pull shit with me I'm becoming an actual nun.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
When your guy changes his swinger profile to include you. #makingprogress
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.
Randomize
