all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
I just sold my mom a dimebag. Should I feel scared or sucessful?
while being fingered today, I was told I have an abnormally deep g-spot. Now you know, I am a size queen because of SCIENCE.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
The problem with that is that my car has been stolen
If there's one thing i learned from edward 40hands is that i couldnt handle life with bottles for hands
that blonde bartender and I racked up an impressive mini bar bill last night
Mini bar? Did you get a hotel room?
Yeah, the last thing I need right now is a chick with an insane clown posse tattoo knowing where I live
That’s legit
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