she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
he broke into my appartment and left me a waffle maker...
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
It just wouldn't be valentines day if i didn't invite 90% of the guys i've slept with to go to the strip club with me
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I came back from England with a face tattoo and the only thing anyone can talk about is my beard.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
It's slightly odd going to a booty call during morning rush hour with everyone else going to work.
Are you ok? Who pooped in my office?
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
