I cannot find my penis.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
It'd be easier to list the surfaces my ass hasn't been on.
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Took his shirt off. Announced he was Jesus. Threw up. Asked me to cuddle him to sleep. And then tried to kiss me. Typical Saturday night.
Yeah bunch of crazy shit... Makes you wonder how anyone found someone before tinder
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
