gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
she gave me head while wearing a sombrero and told me it was her "welcome to south of the border" blowjob. i am never leaving mexico.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
New guy at work just gave me a Percocet for my headache. Officially best friends
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Randomize
