if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
Then she yelled something like "YOU HAVE SO MANY FORKS!" before collapsing on the floor
If she asks the cat was vomiting before I fed it fried calamari
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
The guy at the ER said it was the first time he's given stitches for a funneling accident. Then he seemed upset that I took pride in that...
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Pretty sure one of my drivers stopped to get laid while he was delivering a pizza. Is it appropriate to give him a write-up AND a high-five?
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
Randomize
