Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
What do you want to swallow. Press 1 whiskey press 2 rum
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Is it okay to send him a "thanks for the sexual awakening" note?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Dammit. the window insulation sheets are too small for my windows. Yet again I am disappointed by size
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