He belongs with you like a mcdonalds playground belongs in Chernobyl
lets start a swedish sibling band together
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
Right now I can't do anything that will ban me from donating plasma. That is a legit source of income for me.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Eating pizza in the bath tub while watching a romantic comedy alone. I reached a new level of single.
My eye was non-stop itchy for like an hour... I thought burying my face in your ass caught up with me
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
