Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Fuck. These are the symptoms I had when I was pregnant. This could be bad.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
He is the one I "technically" lost my virginity to.
I feel like you never had a virginity..
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I asked if he wanted to come over and he said he was busy. Then I sent him a pic of me in the bath with the bottle of wine I already finished and all of a sudden he was free. Booty calls are too easy.
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
that sounds horrible...
what could possibly go wrong attempting to re-enact the dinosaur capture scene from Jurrasic Park... I have the net gun and camcorder you have the dino costume and can run
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
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