you threw up in the bushes next to the ABC store and kept saying "you're home, blueberry vodka, you're home!"
dude, she was giving me a lapdance and her thong had a skid mark. no I did not hit it.
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
He was just laying on the stairs and then screamed, "Is that a clubhouse?" I haven't seen him since
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I don't even know where to begin....there's queso sauce and public hair stuck to everything
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
You are a booty call, not a friend.
Using the random money I found in my bra from Halloween to pay to print my bio notes. I only brought a debit to the bar. College win.
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
I blacked out and when I woke up and looked at the counter.. there was a full cake upside down. I dont even understand ...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
