Me too!
I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I accidently showed a girl my balls already today. Made me think of you.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
She's cute, but batshit. Like some kind of dominatrix disney princess.
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
So hungover. Walked into room and poached their catering before realized in wrong place. Scowled and ate it anyway
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Apparently I called down to the hotel front desk and begged them to bring us pizza. They brought us tea.
i woke up to drewlling on a plate of eggrolls half naked halfway between my bed and the floor, and i have no idea where my pants went
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