I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
I'll have you know...trying to masturbate while a song about jesus is stuck in your head is next to impossible
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Just re-gained consciousness in the freshman girls dorm. Normally this would be awesome but I'm on the floor surrounded by chicks doing their homework. This makes me uncomfortable but I don't think they know I'm awake yet. If I b-line for the door can you come get me?
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
Jesus Christ I am the crazy cat lady of vibrators
Wednesday is good, I needed the head count for the orgy, caroling can happen with as few as 2 people. There will be a pinata.
For the caroling or the orgy?
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
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