You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
i always forget that thursday isnt the weekend in the real world
i just made mint juleps with bourbon and fresh breath strips. i am the macgyver of alcohol.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
Also there's a dick sized hole in my tights...should I be worried?
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I was so stoned last night I got into an argument with your voicemail message.
He invites me over too FucK and i wind up eating 6 jimboys tacos with his roommates. While he waited in his room. Maybe next time
I need a guy who can see in me what the lesbian community sees in me
Have you ever had a pregnancy test laugh at you?
True I am eskimo brothers with every one of my room mates, but it was only two girls. And 9 outta 10 times I was first
I lost my wolf penis dildo in my garage. I should probably find it before I resume my garage sale tomorrow...
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