shit is crazy. i just keep thinking that this kid growing inside Emily used to live in my balls.
So at this point...I'm sure you heard the story about Saturday night
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
When i say that im working late and also have a paper to write before 9am tomorrow all i want u to respond is saying that ur gunna come over and sexually distract me from my responsibilities. Not a fucking frowny face.
Sorry. Im on my way.
After 13 tally marks I wrote the number 4,000 and made u sign my arm to prove it.
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
He was "hot guy in the dark". One of us had to sleep with him. I took the bullet you're welcome.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Took pain meds with RumChata this morning. It's like morning milk but better
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Randomize
