no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
don't bother texting me at 10. my pants WILL be off and I'm not putting them back on to come see you.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
An there's a little girl across the bar eating Mac n cheese... #1 she won't stop looking at me. Boo bitch I'm drinking alone. #2 I'm about to tackle her ass for that Mac n cheese.
I've come to realize sober is a rare time of the day.
Three guys came up to me at the bar and started dancing on me, while screaming "Johnson's girl." That's the last time I sleep with a freshmen.
And there was a legally blind kid in a ref costume doing surprisingly well at beer pong who was passing out business cards
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
Whatever you wanna call it i just wanna get railed tonight
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
