Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
I'm at taco bell and they have a hiring sign asking "do you like to melt things?" clearly they only want the ambitious.
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
almost got into it with the cashier. bitch dont look at me like that just cuz im only buying wine and icing. ill fight.
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I wanted to give everyone gifts as they left the house... So when your wondering where most of the christmas ornaments are I'm really sorry.
Thanks for driving us home last night. Also, blanket apology for anything I may have said/done. I blacked out sometime near the t-shirt cape incident
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