it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
I was trying to sing daddy wasnt there from austin powers but apparently I was crying and and yelling jibberish...I get to into this shit
Jazzercise themed birthday pub crawl. 6 bars in 6 hours.everyone was a hot mess.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
I can’t shake the image of her gigantic black unibrow. It’s like I got a blowie from Eugene Levy
Randomize
