i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
we were fucking and all I could think about is how my silly bands were glowing in the dark.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
Your friend, the one I told I would brush his teeth with my tongue, what's his name again?
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
You fist bumped my dick last night saying good game. That you'll be back for the 2nd game...
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