No, computers are like whores. moody bitches that cost too much and no matter how much protection you have you can still get a virus
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
I told my ex i loved him and then he sent me a picture of this girl laying on his bed.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
You brought us all personal gifts you had stolen from the party and bellowed "hoes hoes hoes, clepto Santa loves you"
I just did a drunk experiment to find out what it looks like when you turn a burner on the stove on while wearing night-vision goggles. I may be blind in my right eye now.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
