You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I just spent the last 30 minutes shaving my asshole.
dear vagina, thank you for making it so goddamn hard to get pregnant. i love you.
I denied three guys and puked everywhere because I love you.
it was really awkward. it took him like like 2 minutes to realize who he was jacking off to. he stopped mid-stroke. such a small small world
i told you not to try chat roulette
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
People will say "JOE YOU MUST TURN DOWN" and I will refuse, in the name of liberty.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
I feel slightly un-patriotic right now... I just got cock blocked by the Air Force!
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
He shit with the door open. I think that means we are in a realtionship.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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