FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
i just threw up ON my final. epic way to end the semester.
My mother just asked me if i ever swallow the goods...should i be concerned?
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
and then I drunkenly screamed, "you can ride that Uber all the way to revenge city!"
which was funny until I realized I paid for my enemy's cab to go fuck my ex
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
Randomize
