i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
when your english prof writes "this was a real good paper" on your essay, you know you're at the wrong college
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
please, i've had weekends with less dignity than this.
Some girl just ordered Chinese delivery to her therapy appointment...
Please just help me figure out where the bruise on my face came from.
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
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