I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
Also, our mothers are placing bets on which of us will get pregnant first.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
Did you clean my apartment?
I thought it was a dream, I'm sorry
Please stay more often
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
