you won't ask to borrow his earbuds because you think it's gross, but you'll have sex with him?
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
Just went through campus. In the span of 2 min I saw 4 places I've had sex. And thats just down one street. Man do I miss college.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
Also, if someone could cut me off before im rolling around the yard pantsless with a 40 year old lesbian that would be awesome.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Dude, you need better judgement.Trust me I know. I put my dick in the wrong mouths all the time
Random one night stand with a guy that had a USA tattoo on his ass. Can't possibly get more American than that
Let's be honest, I'm cooking chicken nuggets in my Helm jersey and underwear who has their life more together than me?
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
To the woman who just heard me unscrew my flask in the Denny's women's bathroom at 10am: discretion isn't required but greatly appreciated.
Did you at least share?
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