its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I wish that vaginas would just grow when you're ready for sex. Like when you dont need your vagina its not there, but when you need it...BAM its there. then no one would see it when you get drunk
yeah...or you could just stop doing cartwheels in skirts
I know this is weird, but can you ask your girlfriend if she has my mailbox?
Seriously?
100%
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
you don't know what its like to have your bartender tell you that you owe him beer money infront of your mother at 3pm on a tuesday
i woke up and saw you were brushing his hair naked. I can never pass out around you, man.
Lets now bow our heads and think of girls with ex boyfriends who were great at fingering them. That's so sad.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
I just put poptarts in the toaster with the wrapper on, that's how hungover I am.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Let's do something tonight. I feel like setting things on fire.
Randomize
