I think this dress is screaming I want a birthday 3some with two moderately attractive guys. I hope.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
its freezing days like this when i seriously consider littering to speed up the global warming processes.
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I do not want to touch your penis after this conversation.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
High school girls are buying me shots. This will not end well.
Always wear a seatbelt when giving road head. I think I'm just going to tell people I don't remember how I got the fat lip.
We put your drunk ass to bed. 10 minutes later we heard you scream "DICK-PUNCH!!!" It was immediately followed by a shriek of pain and crying. So to answer your question; no, that's not "sex soreness".
She licked my face when I was on the phone with a customer and I just laughed. Im not sure if thats good or bad
They pay me enough to pretend to be either helpful, or heterosexual. If they want both I need one hell of a raise.
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
My apartment stinks of burning failure
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