This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
It was honestly like finding a clitoris in a haystack.
She washed her feet in the sink at white castle. I want this girl in my life.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
I just threw up blood. Also i just remembered i got hit in the face with a 2 by 4.
I'm at the hospital waiting for my sister to push out her kid. I think I'll roam the halls and shame all the teenage mothers.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
All I remember is laying in that secret hideaway closet, naked, with a beer cowboy hat on and you walking in and sitting down crying because no one would have sex with you
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
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