the ugly redhead just came into the bar, wearing a sombrero...by herself... who is going to tell her that its not cool to throw themed parties when you're the only guest?
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
when i got to my bed there was a handwritten note that said "wash the sheets." sleeping on the couch.
My superpower would be to be able to make a chick instantly start her period just by thinking about it
those are the first brownies ive had since i was 13 that didnt have weed in them.
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
I keep waking up with the nagging feeling I gave him half a hand job through his shorts.
please tell me i can get drunk off sparkling grape juice. even if you have to lie, please say yes.
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
After we won I just ran all over campus for a couple hours. Then made out with a guy on a bench
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
