How old was that tiny chick? she needs a lard iv.
On my arm I have 12 dashes, and below is written "plus 2 pretty stout whiskey drinks, so, you be the judge"
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Baked and hanging out with Al from Home Improvement's son. You can't make this shit up. Tuh-rippin balls
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
I'm missing my left shoe, and there's a note on my foot (in my handwriting) that says "HAHA BITCH" Any explanation for this?
if you're not jumping for joy when you see penis then you're looking at the wrong ones.
Randomize
