thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
Girls are like M&M's, once the lights go out you can't tell the difference.
he told me he once ran a blackmarket liquor store out of his house. thats all it took for me to go home with him
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
So as your former husband, I get to give you away at the wedding right?
The taxi driver was going on about how many drunk chicks want to sleep with him when he drives them home. Not sure if he was bragging or hinting
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Came back with a random sweatshirt, an American flag, and a for sale sign. Mission success?
I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
THERE IS WATER LITERALLY DRIPPING OFF OF THE CHANDELIER. I OFFICIALLY HAVE THE WORLD'S WORST RAINFALL SHOWER HEAD.
Randomize
