Every time you buy a sobe you buy a bong.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
Lil wasted at a baby shower. Here's to beating teen pregnancy BOTTOMS UP
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
why are our drunk alter egos so much more successful than us?
BEHOLD THE MORNING PIGEON
SANCTIFY THE CHALK TADPOLE
THERE IS NO SOBRIETY. ONLY ZUUL.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
i ran into the Jo the housecleaner earlier this morning. i mentioned i had a little hangover and she asked what the occasion was.. i replied "Tuesday" without thinking. she judged the shit out of me.
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
his mom walked in while he was eating me out. and my vag was facing the door. luckily his face was in it.
Randomize
