What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
i'm considering texting him with "i'm leaving the country for a year, wanna fuck?"
do it. it's every man's dream.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
yeah well, its not like my astrogynecology class is teaching me what i need to know
im almost 90% sure there is no such thing as astrogynecology.
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Woke up on the floor with shoes on my hands...I'd say it was a success
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
Randomize
