Well I think that's a good thing that I'm not full of someone else.
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I cannot for the life of me remember why I am holding this rabbit.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Any recommendations for how to tell your wife about the pics of her 19 yr old sister on a porn site without admitting you were surfing said porn site?
Do you know how hard it is to put a bandaid on a vagina?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
Randomize
