He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
Do you think he likes his girlfriend's moustache?
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
There was a group of girls next to us. One was smiling at me. I only remember walking up and saying "oh you're Russian". Not sure where it went from there
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
Fuckin' raining men in my bedroom while I'm trying to drunk eat a rather large portion of pasta. Like shoo I already picked who I'm sleeping with. Pasta wins.
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
Randomize
