I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
UPDATE: In a passionate fit of self love, I brought myself to orgasm under the moon on my 7th floor balcony, ejaculating between the rungs towards the ground.
Unfortunately, I did not realize that most of it would end up on the balcony below mine.
At least you don't cum in color.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
The 3 year old I'm babysitting is the first guy to tell me he loves me sober in like 2 years
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
What if he stabs me in the back, mid-orgasm, as I sit on his face? It'd be a miraculous way to go but that's not the point
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
so much tequila, so little girl.
I just twinged a muscle in my shoulder trying to hug myself. In the world of loneliness-based injuries, this is a new low for me.
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
all i'm saying is don't blame me if your purses are filled with whoppers
are we talking malt balls or BK?
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