I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
I feel like a drive thru vagina
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
In honor of Super Tuesday, we should have the sex tonight.
Randomize
