That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
Well get back to your date and give him the ceremonial 1am handy and text me when your done.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
that game of battleshots got way too fucking intense. why does the couch have burn marks now.
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Everything is a learning experience. Last night we learned why I'm not allowed to bring guys home from the bar....
Randomize
