4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
Just used a champagne bottle to outline a trigonometric circle for math 104.. should i give up on life now or later?
just got tipped $5 to put a barbie in a waffle cone and drip caramel sauce on it while a group of dudes cheered and one took pics. 90% sure they were sober
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
