I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
my dealer just handed me my weed in a pink easter egg
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
Like my mouth was on his pelvis connected to his balls that's how far it was
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Doing coke by yourself isn't as fun. Even when you're watching a James Franco movie.
just call my name and ill be there, if we are puking, beating up bitches, or pickin up men, OR avoiding wierd men, so many situations require a wingman
Once you find out someone has a small dick, you never look at them the same again.
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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