Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Woke up this morning in a randoms bed clutching an airplane ticket. God I hope I'm still in the country
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
I better make out with at least 3 princesses and 4 animals this weekend.
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
He referred to his penis as "The Purple Headed Yogurt Slinger." I'm both disgusted and turned on
Hey what you doing tonight?
Working at the hospital! So hurt yourself and come visit :)
See you in about a hour
We talked about breaking up, had sex, and in the middle of said sex, talked more about breaking up- best sad day ever
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