I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
His internet history had "Disney Porn" on it.
She got a text from her mom saying "you better not sleep with him, we all know how he is". IV ONLY BEEN HERE A WEEK
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
While we were having sex he asked me if I wanted to get wingstop after. I think I found my future husband.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
Randomize
