Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
dont get mad but guess who just got banned for life from dodger stadium
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
Chipotle chips and wine for breakfast. Its def game day
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
I'm honored that you could tear yourself away from your girlfriend's vagina long enough to text me.
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
THIS IS WHAT CELL PHONES ARE FOR! So you can tell me that you're bringing your coworker who lives in the "Halleleuia community" home for a beer SO I'M NOT DRESSED IN LEATHER LINGERIE WHEN HE WALKS IN THE FUCKING DOOR!!
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
