Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Every time I hang out with your gay friend, I have to make a checklist of words to look up when I get home. First Google of the night? "Power bottom."
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
she bought me drinks at the bar, made me pizza at her place, gave me head, and then drove me home...i think i might propose
we're making bets on your personal life
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
Well regardless of where or with who you will be blacking out and i will be pouring shots down ur throat like a baby bird
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I totally just friend requested the girl I met in jail last night so that I could give her back the sunglasses she lent me upon our release. See, I'm not a total delinquent.
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
